The Collar

Sir and I have talked about collars.  What they mean to us, what they signify.  How he, would like me to have many collars, some for play, some for training, some for when we are at clubs, munches etc...  Even a permanent one that I can wear when we are not together.  Of course this would be something like a piece of jewellery as I think I may get some funny looks at work otherwise.

Of course collars mean different things to many people.  I have read many posts and blogs on peoples advice and opinions, but one thing was always at the forefront of my mind.  Whatever we did, it would be special to us, no rules, no guidelines to follow, it would mean something to only us.

A couple of weekends ago we went to a munch, they have an after party and Sir requested me to take a change of clothing as he wanted to play.

This would be the first time we had been together at this munch for the whole time and I was so looking forward to it.  I packed a see through netted dress, black lacy thong, as I knew if he wanted to use CP on me there would be no need to worry about knickers.  Lacy holdups and shiny black high heels.

We picked a friend up on the way and headed into town.  Traffic was crazy and I was getting impatient.  One of the things I look forward to are the workshops.  This time was one on impact play.  Even though it's not me administering any pain, it's a good thing for me to understand also the submissive side of things, the dangers, etc...  The other workshop was about Needle Play, it wasn't quite a workshop but more a discussion and chat for people who had questions.  This is one area Sir and I are intrigued with, it's not high up on our list of things to do, but I would love for him to adorn my skin with needles and ribbon, making my back look like a corset.  Maybe one day.

We managed to park and got there just in time.  After the first workshop we decided to get a drink, chat with friends and then head to look around the stalls.

At one stall Sir was looking at collars, I shied away but he beckoned me back towards him and said did I like the one he had in his hand.  I felt nervous, only because I didn't think he would want to get me one this soon.  He had ordered one, but it still had not arrived.  I suppose really it was more of me being scared.  Of course I want to wear one for him.  Feel proud that it's his collar I am wearing.  But also it's the thought of what other people think.  I know I shouldn't care, but I do have a thing about what other people think about me.  It stems from my past, being judged etc......

As I stood there whilst he kept looking I fidgeted, I wasn't sure now that this was the right time.  But I went back to our comments about what a collar means to us, then realised he was doing it for us.  Not for everyone to know I was his, that was obvious already.  Not a reminder to me, I submit even when we are in vanilla situations.

After he had tried many on my neck and asked my opinion, of course my answer was, "whatever you think Sir, it's your decision".  Sir chose a beautiful black patent leather collar with three rings, one at the front and one either side.  It was a lockable collar.  As he locked it in place I felt quite emotional.  I wanted to walk away right then, but looked in the mirror at the beautiful collar he had chosen that adorned my neck.  Again I did not say anything when he asked me if I liked it.  I'm sure I blushed, I felt warm, then said "come on lets go", of course he said "don't walk away, I haven't finished here yet".  Of course I want to wear his collar, be by his side as others look and see I'm his.  But I also had a fear of total commitment.  I had given myself to him, he owned me now, so the least I could do, was stand patiently and wait.

A couple more were tried on but he decided on the black patent lockable collar.  I thanked him and kissed him.  My heart did somersaults, I now know how other sub's have felt when a collar had been placed on them for the first time.  You can read so much, try to understand others' feelings, but only know the true emotions when it happens to you.

The collar was saved for a special time, all I will say is, Sir was pleased and so was I as he used me while it adorned my neck.

Thank you Sir, it's beautiful.